Sifting

I'm not going to lie, friends. I'm struggling with our government. I'm deeply discouraged. There are some nonsensical, horrid things happening. Yes, I know we're resisting. Yes, I know a lot has not passed that was proposed. But I'm sure you've read the bill that just made it through the House about proposed health care changes. The one that says rape is a pre-existing condition. Yeah, that one. I'm honestly struggling to put into words how angry and frustrated I feel about this. And there are so many other things about this bill to be angry about. For now, though, I'll just unpack this one bulging suitcase - the fact that we have a man in office who assaults women and then encourages legislation that prohibits women from getting medically necessary care when these things happen. Not even just when these things happen. FOR ALL TIME AFTER THESE THINGS HAPPEN EVEN IF THEY ARE SEEKING CARE FOR OTHER REASONS.

I'm in a rage. I want to break things. I want to scream. There is absolutely no logical reason for something like this to have even been SUGGESTED. Who in their right mind comes up with this as a possible solution to our health care expenses? In a culture where we further victimize women who come forward, who experience full-blown, life-long character assassinations for speaking truth and advocating for justice? And is there real justice after assault???? Even if that person rots in prison, even if in a civil suit restitution is made, there is no undoing assault. Read the letter from the victim of Brock Turner if you don't know what assault does to the human mind, soul and body.

So what we do is we block women from getting the care they need. We reinforce social norms (read: rape culture) to shame women, blame women, marginalize women FOR BEING ASSAULTED. I'm literally wringing my hands right now. I just can't even wrap my mind around this. There is no justification for this legislation. There is no peace, no justice, no fucking humanity in this. NONE. Where have we buried our humanity?!?! When did we trade our souls for money? When did we decide that a woman bloodied, battered and torn open is not deserving of justice, care, basic human rights? Where inside of each of us is the place that says that it is ok to blame someone for a life-altering traumatic experience? Rape is not ok. Blaming someone for rape is further victimizing victims. How is this a gray area?

At what point did we decide that penises are not attached to brains with fully functioning control centers? We must control our impulses to harm other people. And if we cannot, we need to be removed from society. We do not alter society to enable predators. We care for predators by tucking them away. I'm sorry. We need to understand that man is responsible for man's actions. We need to understand that tiptoeing around violence increases violence. We must stand up. We must fight back. We must love our fellow man, woman and child. We belong to each other. How do we not see that? And if we do, how do we trade that interconnectedness for profit? How can we profit from throwing women into mass graves, leaving us to the wolves of violence and lust and a total lack of personal responsibility? This is not winning. This is not making America great again. This is fundamentally irresponsible. This is re-victimizing victims. This is violence. It cannot be tolerated. If you won't reach into that mass grave and pull women out, get the hell out of my country.

It comes as no surprise to anyone that Donald J. Trump is a misogynist. With recent recordings of him bragging about sexual assault once again as if he's God's gift to women, there is more than enough proof (there was way before this but ok) to give him this title. And normally, I'm able to distance myself from the horror because I have no intention of voting for this guy and almost every single person I know feels the same way as I do. But for many reasons today, all the crazy made it through my filters and I am genuinely, palpably upset. His statements don't shock me. In fact, I'm sad to admit that when I heard them, I wasn't even all that offended. Not because what he said isn't offensive, but because it's something I've heard before and his voice is typically the worst and loudest in the crowd. I don't put a lot of stock in anything he has to say, especially about me.

The thing that really upsets me is that no one gives a fuck that this man is who he is. I know that's not true. There are so many people, myself included, who would rather surrender their citizenship than make this guy our leader. And yet, there seems to be no way to knock this guy off the evangelical, conservative pedestal, half of the population be damned. How is it that we don't have a problem with a candidate for presidency who brags about assaulting women? I just don't get it. What makes it personal is that I am in the process of raising two future women and he could be their president. He could be the man they grow up remembering. Giving speeches, representing them, showing them what it means to be an American - I can't handle it. Macy's 8 and Penny's 3. If he's elected and has 2 terms, he will be the leader of their nation until they're 16 and 11, respectively. That is an incredibly formative time in their lives.

And I know, that just reading this far, someone has brushed him off again because there are people who are worse. There are men who are more sick, more proud, more shocking. And there are women who do horrible things too. I get it. But what does it say about us that we can only justify our vote when we compare our candidates to relatively evil people? I want my children's president to hold his/her head high, show them what leadership, compromise, stewardship and diplomacy look like. I want my children to be proud to be Americans, to work to make this place better than it is now - more tolerant, more diverse, more fair, more stable. Why is it that we don't see a bright future for ourselves? I want a brighter future - for me and for my daughters. I want more. And you should too.